It is just wrong when you feel it is not right.. Keeping going wrong will not make it better.. 2x wrong is still wrong



I like this one, i feel somehow the same



I wondered sometimes, back when I still had Facebook, how there are people with relationship status “complicated”.
With time my insight increases.. Life is complicated, humans are complicated, time makes things complicated…
It would be much easier to have “clear signs”, defined wishes and so on.. But I guess there are almost no things in life which are clear..

But does it have to be complicated etc? Isn’t it just everyone ones view on life which makes it complicated for himself? What exactly makes us to describe things as complicated? And how to make things less complicated?

I think if everyone, or at least the two persons involved, realizes that WE make it complicated would do much help. Also the fact nobody wants it to be that way.  Assuming we are not malevolent… The things per se are not complicated.. If they got so, there must be a way to get rid of “complicated-ness”.

Maybe a way to comply is following:
Keep yourself up to the believe of the goodwill and there will be a solution. It is sure not easy, I’m tempted to say it is complicated.. Look out for the common goal and then seek or make the way to it together .. Don’t keep going on paths which are complicated or keep going in circles… Don’t focus to much on the rocks on the road to your common goal..

The hardest part will be to get in touch with yourself and find out what you want.. Is it worth for you?

It is easy to see things as complicated.. It is much harder the other way around.. I guess it must be learned, it will not happen from one day to the next..
Try to not make your life more complicated than it will get anyways with time..

Back to relationships, remember that there are probably no solution perfectly fitting for both for all time… Times change, people change and so do relationships. Keep this in mind and you will be able to find solutions (or paths) fitting for you both together as couple.

Don’t hurt me

Please don’t hurt me no more..

It is common that everyone has his story of sad, disappointing and hurtful events.. Everyone has those “bad teeth”, a worse experience with someone, with trust, with love, with being mocked and so on…

No one will ever blame you for this. Mostly they have an understanding and maybe pitty with you.

But don’t expect others to solve your problems. They can help you if they want but it is not their task to patty you. Don’t try to make others not to hurt you in any way possible. Because that will make you shallow, cold and distant. This way it will get harder for everyone to show you love. Everything is in the sing of not to hurt you. Which is your problem.

Other persons may trigger your “sore tooth” but the reaction behind is your responsability. Why does it (still) hurt you? Why do you let other hurt you?

Get things clear for yourself, it is a hard and long way. But in the end you will be a much opener and warmer person. And so will be people around you.

It IS very selfish demanding other people not to hurt you.

I guess i’ll put this in unpopular opinions


Yes we can?

Do we? Meanwhile I think there are things in your life you know you should change. Change them for a better future maybe, or to make your life better from now on.

Sometimes this would mean to let everything go. Would and/or could you start over again, from the begining?

I guess with a certain age this will gets harder, month to month. You just can’t “forget” things or go a completly new way, because you already made it quite far, however.

Going back to start, who knows the new way will be the better way? Will you ever get that far again? Maybe.. It’s a high risk, so in this aspect, security plays a big role. Better live with some aches in your life, than risk to lose everything. But otherwise you could reach much more…

Never easy… No one to ask how to live your life. This is our fate.

A normal view, or a view on normality?

Oh, that’s really a topic which is never missing on a blog like this one.

In a way, this makes this blog normal.. We see this subject is some how a trap. Trying to talk or define “normality” is normal. So in a way you define a definition. Or maybe only my brain sees it this way.. at this time..

I THINK being “normal” in a more or less wide sence is one of the hardest things in life. Well, at least as i see it. One must leave out the question “what is normal anyway?” for some moments, because it will also lead into a trap and can’t be escaped without books written and so on.. very philosophical, and i guess there are many very well written essays about this, so it’s not my task and intention to re-do this one more.

Normal as I see and experience is what you see most other people doing most the time. What I see: They go to work, they enjoy it more or less, well it’s also normal to rant about work and your boss. They have a beloved person in their life, with whom they share second most time. Most time ¬†is spend to work.

They don’t think to bad about life and the surroundings around them. Sure there are things which makes them upset, but in general everything is fine.

They seem like they aren’t crushed by the normality surrounding them. They want it that way, they need it this way. I experience this like in some state of being numb. How can they live like this?

Back the times when I was working, normal job, normal life etc. I could get some understanding. You’ll bothered all day with your little tasks and problems, no time to think about the whole big thing in life. You’re happy enough to get home, to get some nice words, to have some pleasure in your freetime. No big deals, but it will do just fine.

Otherwise, you (speaking of me all the time..) just don’t have the energy to do more. You have to function every day, and to care that you will function every day. To be and behave normal every day. To function normal.

In my case, this sucked out life of me. I didn’t feel being alive. I can’t feel “it” anymore. No more big dreams. No unresting energy, i can’t see heaven, can’t hear the angels singing. God is not speaking anymore to me, or at least i can’t hear him.

OH PLEASE NO, i’m not religious, not christian or what ever. The things named are for me the “higher things” in life. The metaphysical things, like ideologies, ideas, joys and so on…

A book i once read described it very nice. I don’t know the exact words, how ever, i had the same oppinion and thoughs also. The point was, that this what i name “god, angels etc.” is inside you. You have to listen to yourself, go your one way to hear them speaking to you.

And this is somehow very true for me.. As i began working i left “my” path… no more singing and heavenly inspiration for me… So is this the normal way?

I know i will break going the normal way…

My respect is to every single one who makes it the normal way.. as i’ve experienced it, it is so damn hard, you will sacifice so much.. I truly envy you, seeing you happy, getting stuff done and going forward your way… (is it your way?)

This post is quite abstract i guess.. well it’s a difficult topic and english isn’t my native language.. so hopefully, I could express some thoughts in an understandable way.


Now the day has begun.. I am still lying in my bed, not sure if I should get up.
The night was OK, but dreamless and little cold. My head still feels rusty.

Cars are driving outside, bringing important people to important places doing important stuff. Looks always the same. Not asking what they are actually DOING.

What if you do things completely different? Get late to work on purpose, brag about it. Tell everyone you didn’t have had sex with your girl because she didn’t let you.. make a great story out of it and be proud.
Do things the stupid way. Make your goal to loose money as fast as possible.
What will change?